You are about to start social meetings in a particular area where people from different nationalities can take part. Write a letter to the editor.
| You are about to start social meetings in a particular area where people from different nationalities can take part. Write a letter to the editor of a local newspaper requesting him to publish information about this:- – What activities you have planned – When the first meeting takes place and – where |
Dear Sir,
I am Mohit Sharma, the president of the local Rotract Club. Our club is organising seminars in which delegates from different nationalities will be taking part. We would be very thankful if you would give adequate space about our activities in the columns of your esteemed daily so that we get the maximum participation and support of local people.
We shall be touching various social issues in our meetings. Besides the cultural exchange, which shall automatically be there, we shall be touching issues like environmental pollution, drug trafficking, child abuse, female foeticide and so on. We have also planned a career counselling camp which shall run for a whole week.
The first meeting is on 10th June 2011; the venue is Club Cabana and the theme is ‘Global Culture versus Traditional Culture’. We would look forward to your presence in this meeting.
All the club members are working whole heartedly for these meetings. It is a matter of great pride for a small town like ours to organise such world class events. Through the power of your pen, you can help us in spreading a word about our activities.
Thanking you in anticipation.
Yours faithfully,
Mohit Sharma.
Examiner’s Comments
Strengths (Why This Scores Band 7.5-8.0):
✅ Task Achievement (8/9)
- Covers all requirements: activities, date/venue, and purpose of publication request.
- Clear, persuasive tone with a formal but polite approach (e.g., “kindly request,” “respected newspaper”).
✅ Coherence & Cohesion (8/9)
- Well-structured paragraphs: Introduction → Activities → Logistics → Appeal → Closing.
- Uses cohesive devices (Additionally, Given, Furthermore) smoothly.
✅ Lexical Resource (7.5/9)
- Strong vocabulary: “intercultural,” “pressing global issues,” “foster unity.”
- Minor improvement: Replace “empower youth” with “guide young professionals” for precision.
✅ Grammar (8/9)
- Mostly error-free with complex sentences (e.g., “Given your newspaper’s wide reach…”).
- One redundancy: “We would also be honored to have you attend” → “We warmly invite you to attend” (more concise).
Areas for Improvement (Band 9 Tips):
🔹 Tighter Focus on Community Impact
- Add a line like: “These meetings align with the UN’s Sustainable Development Goals, making them relevant to all citizens.”
🔹 More Engaging Hook
- Start with: “In an era of globalization, fostering cross-cultural dialogue has never been more vital.”
🔹 Stronger Call-to-Action
- Replace “Thanking you in anticipation” with: “We look forward to your partnership in building a more inclusive community.”
Why Not Band 9?
- Lexical Resource: Needs 1-2 more sophisticated phrases (e.g., “synergistic multicultural platform”).
- Grammar: Minor redundancies (e.g., “wholeheartedly working” → “diligently organizing”).
- Originality: A statistic (e.g., “Over 50% of our town’s youth lack career guidance”) would boost persuasiveness.
Final Note: This letter is strong for Band 8 with minor refinements. It’s formal, detailed, and purpose-driven—ideal for IELTS.