Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Planning:-

CultureAge
– universal language, eg meditation music, happy birthday song– can bring different aged people together eg family gathering
– can share an experience through music eg. tourists loving ethnic songs– even making music needs differently aged people to work together

The first paragraph for an opinion essay: Introduction (Paraphrase of others’ opinion+ Thesis Statement of your opinion)

In today’s scenario (the use of has been already reflects “today’s scenario”), music has been (the) best way to reflect one’s culture and tradition (wrong paraphrase: the question is about connecting different cultures and ages). It seems to me that music has always bounded people of different ages having dissimilar customs (what about ages?) and I will explain why through this essay.

Better:-

For many (remember that an opinion essay starts with the opinion of some people), the wave of melody (Topic Specific word) has always been a common way to bring people together irrespective (less common word) of their traditions and ages (Paraphrasing the question). I wholeheartedly (adverb) agree with this (referencing the first opinion or the opinion given in the question) opinion and will explain why in this essay (Thesis statement).

Main Idea: To begin with (Cohesive device), I believe that (an indication of your opinion) music is a universal language that can surpass(less common word) cultural boundaries to be understood and appreciated(less common word). To exemplify(Cohesive device), the chant (Topic Specific word) of Meditation is equally soothing(less common word) to all be it Christians, Muslims, or Hindus. Supporting Idea 1: Moreover(Cohesive device), It is the rhythm (Topic Specific word) and good vibes(Topic Specific word) transmitted through the music that can join diverse communities together. This(referencing) is the reason why the “Happy Birthday” song is popular around the globe(less common word). Supporting Idea 2: Also(Cohesive device), music possesses an enormous power to evoke(less common word) strong emotions and memory, such that it creates a sense of shared experience; clearly explaining why tourists love the songs and dances of ethnic communities regardless of their background.

Main Idea: Apart from transcending(less common word) cultural barriers (referencing the first body paragraph), music can also foster(less common word) unity among differently aged people. Supporting Idea 1: A melodious tune (Topic Specific word), a piece of relaxing music (Topic Specific word), or a soothing voice(Topic Specific word) frequently takes center stage in family gatherings, community events, and celebrations. Such(referencing) occasions provide opportunities for people of all generations to come together, listen to music, sing, dance, or even play instruments. Supporting Idea 2: Not only this(Cohesive device and referencing), even the making of music itself needs people of diverse ages, from experts to immature, to come close and work together sharing their skills and knowledge. Hence(Cohesive device), I insist (again your opinion) that no other form of communication has this(referencing) influence.

To recapitulate(Cohesive device), (Conclusion: Summary of first and second body paragraph)by providing opportunities for shared experiences, intergenerational understanding, appreciation, and connection music can enhance togetherness among multiple societies and generations.

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