Prevention is better than cure (Corrected essay)
IELTS Writing Task 2 – Essay Correction
A detailed review of an IELTS Task 2 essay with corrections and expert feedback.
Out of a country’s health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventive measures.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
🔴 Original Essay
In today’s world disease increases day by day vice versa, cure also but it costs millions of dollars on health budget of country. I believe that we used start thinking alternatives such as preventing them and health education.
A large amount money used in to develop cure and treatment and discovery of vaccination. One of best ways to educate it awareness of health education in child, adult, old ages people.
Health education in school must be part of education system, seminar for adults or promote through celebrity on television Ad on public place or reward for it.
On other, hand assess the prevention. If we prevent them to spread it will be easily. The best ways it to eliminate for bad habitat such as wash our hands while eating to or stop, smoking and drinking. Pursue a good lifestyle eating a health diet fresh fruit and vegetable and doing regular exercises such, walking yoga or swimming.
And if some is sick they must diagonics properly. For example, H1N1 is spread from monkey to human if we proper diagnosis first we find it we stop to spread in human or tuberlocisis in Germany.
I strongly believe that prevention is best cure in today’s world all the person in should starting thinking about it without wasting money on cure.
🟢 Corrected Essay
In today’s world, diseases are increasing day by day, and similarly, medical treatments are advancing, but they cost millions of dollars in a country’s health budget. I believe that we should start considering alternatives such as prevention and health education.
A large amount of money is used to develop cures, treatments, and vaccines. One of the best ways to spread awareness is through health education for children, adults, and the elderly.
Health education should be a part of the school curriculum, and seminars should be conducted for adults. Additionally, promotions through celebrities, TV ads, and public campaigns could be effective strategies.
On the other hand, prevention is also crucial. If we prevent diseases from spreading, it will be easier to manage them. The best way to achieve this is by eliminating bad habits, such as washing hands before meals, quitting smoking and drinking, and pursuing a healthy lifestyle by eating a nutritious diet with fresh fruits and vegetables and engaging in regular exercise such as walking, yoga, or swimming.
If someone is sick, they must be diagnosed properly. For example, H1N1 was transmitted from animals to humans, but with early diagnosis, it could have been controlled. Similarly, tuberculosis was eradicated in Germany due to effective prevention and treatment strategies.
I strongly believe that prevention is the best cure in today’s world. Everyone should start thinking about it instead of spending excessive amounts of money on treatments.
✅ Clear organization, improved vocabulary, and correct grammar can make your essay score jump significantly.
Key Improvements:
- Clear thesis statement and position
- Proper paragraph structure with topic sentences
- Accurate vocabulary and spelling
- Complex sentence structures
- Stronger examples and explanations
- Formal academic tone
- Word count increased to 280+