Dear Ramji,
I am fine here. I suppose you are also doing well there. It’s been a while we are not in touch. It’s been a while since we last stayed in touch. I got to know from your last letter in June that youmoved you moved from Sydney to Canberra. I hope everything is well settled there.
I am very happy in the sense that to share that i I am going to tie a the knot in on August 5. I am also pleased to invite you to attend by my marriage ceremony. Despite you being busy person, I hope you to manage your busy schedule to attend this beautiful occasion Despite your busy schedule, I hope you can manage to join us for this special occasion. I also like to invite your Soulmate with you. My wife to be wife-to-be is siri Siri with whom i I was in (a) relationship from my college days and you also know her better as i I shared (with) you about her in your last birthday party.
As you dont do not know the fact that, I moved recently recently moved from kathmndu Kathmandu to dhading Dhading because of my job assignment. After your you reach kathmndu Kathmandu by your flight, Dhading is just two hours two-hour ride towards to (the) west from the valley. After reaching Kathmandu you Can can book a cab and to reach (the) new bus park buspark, where you will find (a) bus heading towards Dhading. After 50km of travelling, you will reach a beautiful place called malekhu Malekhu, one of the places a place famous for its fish. In On your way, you will see lots of Mountain mountains towards to (the) north as well as (the) silent Trishuli river flowing of the side of beside the highway. After reaching Malekhu head towards Bhadrakali Templeone temple, one of the famous ancient monument monuments well-known here. From (the) temple just move two-minute towards (the) north, where you will see a beautiful house painted red and blue; that is mine, as this is a unique house here. I have arranged all your accommodation here at SiddarthaBoutique Hotel, one of the well-facilitated hotel hotels here.
I wish hope (for) your warm presence in this ceremony. Your presence will make us feel more happy and proud happier and prouder in this ceremony. Hope to see you in on 5th August.
Warm Regards
Bishal Kadel.
Score: 5.5/9
Examiner’s Comments:
Task Achievement: 5.5/9
- The letter generally addresses the purpose, which is to invite Ramji to the wedding ceremony.
- Some details are clear, such as the wedding date and the request for Ramji’s presence, but important details like the exact venue of the wedding and the ceremony timings are missing.
- The instructions and description of the journey from Kathmandu to Dhading are too detailed and take up a significant portion of the letter, making it less concise.
Coherence and Cohesion: 5/9
- The letter is somewhat organized, but there are instances where the flow of information is disrupted by awkward phrasing and grammatical errors.
- The transition between informing Ramji about the marriage and the travel instructions is abrupt.
- The letter would benefit from better paragraphing to separate different pieces of information.
Lexical Resource: 5.5/9
- The vocabulary used is appropriate for the task, but there are several spelling errors (“kie” instead of “tie,” “manage” misspelled as “mange,” “soulmate” used incorrectly).
- Some words are used incorrectly or awkwardly, such as “soulmate” and “towards.”
- Phrases like “in the sense that” are awkward and affect the overall clarity.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5/9
- There are several grammatical errors throughout the letter, including incorrect verb tenses, missing articles, and prepositions (“towards west” should be “to the west”).
- Sentence structures are often awkward and unclear, affecting the readability.
- Capitalization errors (“kathmandu” instead of “Kathmandu,” “Dhading” and “Malekhu” are inconsistent).
Suggestions for Improvement:
- Clarify and correct spelling and grammatical errors.
- Organize the letter into clear paragraphs, each serving a distinct purpose (introduction, invitation, travel instructions, accommodation details).
- Simplify travel instructions and focus more on the invitation and significance of the event.
- Proofread to ensure the letter is clear and concise, avoiding redundant or overly detailed information.
