Click here to read the original post
In this fast-paced modern life, the precious time between parents and their offspring has become scarcer and scarcer. Within the framework of this writing, an elaboration on the reasons leading to the matter will be provided before evaluating the influence that this phenomenon has.
To commence with, one major cause of the problem is modern technology. Admittedly, it draws the attention of both adults and children, indirectly taking away their family bonding time and interpersonal interactions. It can easily be found in a family’s living room that the fosterers together are watching television programs and gossiping about their day while their kids are hooked on smartphones and gaming consoles. Although technological devices offer profound overall merits to our daily life, it is undeniable that they are pushing flesh and blood relationships far away. Moreover, another root to this case may stem from the parents themselves, who are under pressure to earn every single penny to make ends meet. The ever-calling desire of catering to their babies makes them become workaholics so that they lack time and care for those who should have been their top priorities.
The remaining part will discuss the issue’s impact on the two groups. It is difficult to gauge as both are affected in their own way. Children without sufficient guidance and supervision in their upbringing may eventually become spoiled young adults, indulging themselves in drugs and social crimes. However, their adaptation to childhood hardships can result in early independence and resilience. Parents tend to suffer from the feeling of guiltiness since they fail to fulfill their responsibilities, and arguments between spouses may usually occur when one is trying to blame the other. Therefore, middle-aged divorces have seen an upward trend these days, especially in dysfunctional families.
In a nutshell, advanced technology and money-making pressure are the main reasons for the aforementioned situation. As a consequence, both the young and the grown-up are equally influenced.
Comments:-
You are over presenting reasons without fully developing your explanations. It would be in your best interest to use only one cause and effect for this presentation since only a single reason and effect is required based on the original discussion format. Compare how well you discussed the first reason against the second. You should see that the first reason is better established in terms of reasoning and examples when compared to the second one.
Therefore, you should use only one reason in this paragraph. You will not be scored on the number of reasons but rather, the efficiency of you explanation for each reason. When one reason is less developed than the other, the shorter reason will pull down the overall C+C score of the essay.
Comments:-
Do not tell me what you will be discussing, just discuss it using a proper topic sentence that will refer to the content of the paragraph. This anchor sentence is not going to help your score because it does not properly work as an integral part of your effects explanation. It is only a non-scoring place holder. It cannot add to your score in any way.
[divider style=”double” top=”10″ bottom=”10″]
Note: Every text, image, video, and file on this page is the property of essayforum. Visit the website for more content like this using the button below.
[button color=”primary” size=”medium” link=”https://essayforum.com/” icon=”” target=”false” nofollow=”true”]Visit the website[/button]
[divider style=”double” top=”10″ bottom=”10″]
