You are writing to a close friend to apologise for missing their wedding last weekend.
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| You are writing to a close friend to apologise for missing their wedding last weekend. Explain why you were absent, express sincere regret, offer to make amends and suggest how you will make it up to them. You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. Write at least 175 words. |
Model answer
Dear Sara,
I am writing because I feel awful about not being there on Saturday to celebrate your wedding, I hope you can forgive me. Late on Friday night my father was taken to hospital with a severe allergic reaction and, as his only immediate relative in town, I had to stay with him through the night and handle matters at the ward. I made every effort to let you know, but the hospital kept moving him between departments and my phone battery died; by the time I could contact you, the ceremony had already finished.
Please believe me when I say I would never deliberately let you down on such an important day. I feel both guilty and ashamed for missing your vows. To try to make amends, I would love to take you and Alex out for a celebratory dinner at your convenience, my treat, and I would also be very happy to help with any post-wedding chores: returning favours, sorting photos or helping with thank-you notes.
If you prefer, I can also contribute towards the honeymoon fund, just tell me what would be most helpful. I deeply regret not being there in person, and I hope that in time you can accept my sincere apology.
All my love,
Lucy
IELTS Writing Feedback Analysis
- The letter fully addresses the task: Lucy apologizes sincerely, explains why she missed the wedding, expresses feelings, and offers to make amends.
- Word count is adequate (~200 words), giving enough detail without being repetitive.
- The tone and content are appropriate for a personal letter to a friend.
- “I feel awful about not being there on Saturday…”
- “Late on Friday night my father was taken to hospital…”
- “I would love to take you and Alex out for a celebratory dinner…”
- While the apology and offers are excellent, adding a line acknowledging the emotional impact on the friend, such as “I know you must have been disappointed…”, would make it even more empathetic and show awareness of the recipient’s feelings.
- Could also briefly mention looking forward to meeting soon to close on a positive, forward-looking note.
- The letter is logically structured in three clear parts:
- Apology and explanation
- Expression of feelings and reassurance
- Offers to make amends and closing
- Cohesive devices are natural and not overused: “Please believe me when I say…”, “To try to make amends…”, “If you prefer…”
- Ideas flow smoothly from one paragraph to the next.
- Paragraphing: Intro/apology, Reason/feelings, Offer/closing
- “By the time I could contact you, the ceremony had already finished.”
- Some sentences could be connected with a few additional cohesive phrases like “I truly regret that…” or “As a result…” to make the reasoning explicitly clear for every point.
- Minor improvement: the transition from feelings to offers could be slightly smoother with a linking phrase like “To make up for my absence…”.
- Vocabulary is wide, precise, and emotionally expressive: “guilty and ashamed,” “deeply regret,” “sincere apology.”
- Collocations are natural: “handle matters at the ward,” “make amends,” “honeymoon fund.”
- Emotional tone conveyed effectively without sounding exaggerated or awkward.
- “Severe allergic reaction,” “immediate relative,” “vows,” “post-wedding chores”
- Could include a few more nuanced emotional expressions to add depth, e.g., “I felt helpless” or “I was heartbroken to miss your special day”.
- Slight variation in verbs or adjectives could make the writing even richer: e.g., instead of repeating “regret,” could use “feel remorse” or “feel terrible.”
- Complex sentences are handled confidently:
“Late on Friday night my father was taken to hospital with a severe allergic reaction and, as his only immediate relative in town, I had to stay with him…”
- Mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences with accurate punctuation.
- Tone and style consistent throughout, appropriate for a semi-formal personal letter.
- “By the time I could contact you, the ceremony had already finished.”
- “Please believe me when I say I would never deliberately let you down…”
- Minor: a few sentences could be slightly shorter or split to improve readability.
- Could include a conditional sentence for variety: e.g., “If there had been any way to let you know sooner, I would have.” This adds complexity and demonstrates grammatical flexibility.
- Fully covers task, excellent emotional tone, natural cohesive devices, wide and precise vocabulary, advanced grammatical structures, proper paragraphing, sufficient word count.
- Acknowledge the recipient’s feelings explicitly, add slight variety in emotional expressions, minor sentence variety (conditionals, split complex sentences), and smoother transitions between feelings and offers.
8.5–9, likely solid 9 if the minor improvements are added.